Not Sure.."Thinking to much"

You know i am not sure about allot of these days. Things that if u would have asked me while i was growing up all the way until i was 18 i would have assured you of my distinct opinion.Anyone who knows me knows i ALWAYS have an opinion on anything.

There really is something to be said for hypocrisy. What i mean is allot of us whatever age you may be tend to VERY quickly call out someone being a
"Hypocrite"-a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.I had to really truly look at this allot since i have been here because well..what else do i have to do but sit within my own thought and overly dissect them.(too much time on my hands i know lol). anyway .. i tend to be a very strong believer in quote on quote "Practicing what you preach".

I have found this nearly impossible since i have become an adult.I am not sure why i was raised wonderfully and have been really blessed in multiple facets of life. But as i encounter everyday life i realize ..i am doing and letting allot of things happen to me that i would have NEVER EVER thought possible. And half the time i barely feel bad about it. THIS is a terrible Revelation to have when your a very opinionated person such as myself. There is allot of aspects in my relationship that i make..for lack of a more educated word "excuses" for.If any of my friends or family came to me telling me even half of what i have let slide by i would be soo upset with them and totally confused as to why they would let such things occur.

I have found i am NOt as strong as i think. And i am becoming more black and white, right and wrong, calm or freaking out in the past 2 months than i ever have been in my collected 21 years of living.THIS IS TRULY SCARY!!! and to make matters worse i don't how to fix it..i don't know if i can fix it or if this is normal.Stepping up and manning up to things..is nothing compared to keeping the peace and sanity.:(